Leading from the front

Saw a law school friend’s post on why trans soldiers should be serving, and some idiot friend of his was complaining about it.

I was tempted:

Okay, as likely one of the few straight male [disclosure of potential bias] former Army officers [appeal to authority and experience] commenting on this, let me mansplain to the folks who don’t understand: everyone who thinks that less freedom and fewer rights is the right path gives the impression of having not read and understood the Declaration and the Constitution. Would gay soldiers have seemed out of place in the early 90s of DADT? Yes. Did that make it right? No. Will we eventually get over these worries of trans solders? Yes. But not soon enough. Continue your petty squabbling, especially those of you who want to reduce the rights of others who are, irony of ironies, willing to fight and die to protect your rights. [Evidently, I’m having a bad day. Prejudice does that to me.] /rant

But then I deleted it. What’s the point?:
(1) Is that guy ever going to change his mind?
(2) Do I need my former classmates to know how I feel and pat me on the back?
The second is a “no,” and I’m afraid the first is too.

One of my best friends recently attended an academic conference and shared a thought from a colleague, to the effect that “Has anyone ever been convinced by someone else’s regression?” The idea is that maybe we’re all just stuck with our beliefs and even those who claim to be empirical or data-driven really just rationalize our way to maintaining our beliefs – no cognitive dissonance allowed. I realized this morning that that comment may have just broken my life.

The only reason I went back on FB was to sign in to dating apps. That part has gone well. The rest? “Same as it ever was.”

What, then, do we do to change the world? Is leading by example – the Army way, one by one the way that works?

Does this mean I have to change what I do and how I do it and everything else?

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